Adventures of a Visionary -Chapter 4/5/6/7

Adventures of A Visionary- Chapter 4

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The whole idea of trying to stop the Vision coming through was really impossible because you see Jesus and Mary were not prepared to let this happen. If I'd asked Them to stap talking to me then certainly They would have, but I never really felt I could do this because it would be such an imposition, it would be such a refusal to acknowledge Them and accept Them and I never felt that this was a remote possibilty because They had become so much a part of my life. They'd become so Real and Alive and such animated characters and personalities that I felt Them to be very close friends. I felt a very deep bond with Them and could never let Them down by shutting Them out of my Life. So I simply continued to discuss with Them many of the philosophical questions and current affairs and theological questions that They were providing me with- and asking Them for very simple answers. So that I began to understand They were placing before me a picture of Life which made a great deal of sense to me. I have described elsewhere much in detail about Their descriptions and their philosophy but let me just say here what They were trying to explain to me was that first of all God is Real- God is True-God isn't a fantasy-God is the Being Who is Almighty- Who is providing the whole of Existence with Life and He is also a very Loving God because He is providing this Life out of Love.This message came through very very clearly and strongly and  could relate to this because I'd never ever felt very comfortable with the idea that God is a Being Who created people to suffer and to feel very miserable in Life, this somehow has never really made a great deal of sense to me and although this whole experience is involved with much suffering somehow Jesus and Mary were letting me understand that the suffering part of the experience would move into something much mote beautiful and promising and this as it were kept me going.

So a God of Love was really my cup of tea so to speak. Also the fact that They explained to me very consistently that Life should be beautiful. God had created the World as a beautiful place, He had created people to be very beautiful and if people were living Life in a loving way They were explaining quite simply that the World could continue to be such a beautiful place that it would become a Heaven on Earth. And They were explaining that really people weren't managing to do this in any consistent way and because of this the World was really just destroying itself very quickly and because God had allowed people Free Will and They explained this phenomenon in a very detailed way - because He had given people Free Will He was letting them choose the way to go. And They were explaining that people were making an awful mess of the World. Now this is really a simple explanation and of course They gave me much detail and in much depth and the Vision developed into a daily experience that was moving me continuously into a very clear picture of everything that Life should be. Life They said should be full of colour and energy and vitality and people should be living their Life this way, and people should be giving each other this Love and this happiness and this peace and this freedom. People shouldn't be dominating each other, trying to thwart each other and really disliking each other because of all sorts of petty jealous reasons- people should working together and lifting each other into a whole uplifted way of Llfe that Mary explained would really be a Heaven on Earth. So They began explaining to me that Life on earth could develop in this way if people would accept the fact that God wished it to and He had the Power to let it do so. And at this point They led me into an experience which opened out this Vision, so I began to feel that this was a Vision that people should be sharing with in some kind of way. Jesus and Mary explained that it really was a private Vision in its depth and its detail but that I should certainly be trying to let people be aware of its comforing hopeful theme which was the Promise that as the World got itself into more and more of a mess God would come in a Suprnatural way which was nethertheless very physical and concrete so that people could relate to it and He would help those people who wished to be with Him to finally bring the World into a very new peaceful development which would let it restore itself and become as it were a New World were Peace and Love and Happiness would reign very perfectly. So having explained this to me I felt that this really was a most beautiful picture and I also felt that people were not understanding that this was God's Promise. I know that within the Catholic Church much of the Ritual and Liturgy is centred around this Promise of Jesus coming again to restore the World but people were really looking at it in such a fantastical way thinking of Him descending on a cloud in some kind of transcendental experience and they couldn't relate it to Reality and so they weren't believing it. Now Jesus and Mary were explaining to me through my private Vision how it would happen and I began to see that when it did happen people who were Loving and good would be able to understand very clearly what was happening. Any way at this stage of the experience Joe and I were led into a very strange development which led us understand that we were entering into a new phase of this Vision. And I really didn't know what to do at all at this point, because by now I was understanding that what I'd been led into very gently, was becoming quite an enormous statement and I was also aware that nobody really wanted to know about it- and I was further aware that Jesus and Mary wanted me to try to let people know about it- you can understand how I felt. As I said I've always wanted to live my Life unobtrusively not being a nuisance to people not wishing to impose myself upon anyone who didn't seem to be interested in my friendship or such. And Joe and I had led a very peaceful and happy Life interacting with individual friends who were close to us and we had a bond with, that I had no desire to go out preaching or evangelizing or making statements about an experience which I felt rather uncomforable about- although I knew it to be perfectly real and true.I also understood at this point that a member of the Catholic Church this phenomena was something which people with resposibility within the Church should be aware of, and so I tried to let them be aware of it. The reaction to this was quite stunning because not many people of responsibility did want to e aware of it and the way in which they made this very clear was such a shock that I was thrown into a further state of confusion, because I had always assumed that this would be of interest to people who were living their Life in a sphere which really did understand the spiritual dimension to be very important and of course I thought they would certainly be interested.They would certainly investigate and assess and decide the nature of this experience- but my goodness no they certainly didn't want to become involved. At this stage we were led quite abruptly to a country that we knew very little of and Jesus and Mary quite clearly explained that this particular country was important to this Vision and I ought to try to make people be at least aware of it. The next few years of my Life were totally involved in trying to do this with very strange results.

Chapter5

Malta was the country that Jesus and Mary explained we needed to be and by hook or by crook They were going to see that we were there.Circumstances indeed led us here and circumstances have seen to it that we have stayed here.Malta is largely a Catholic country and professes a very deep devotion to Our Lady and as such  I felt that it would be amazingly easy to let people know about this Marian Message beause Jesus had faded somewhat into the background explaining to me that at present He would prefer His Mother to define this Philosophy of Loving and Living so that I would understand it as a Marian Message which was of great importance for  people and because it was so loving and gentle and hopeful and comforting and offering a very beautiful Promise. So I tried at first to see the best way to go about things and it became clear that the best way to go about things was not easy because because the best way to go about things seemed to be to keep very quiet about this Marian Message.Really nobody seemed  to be interested in this Marian Message in any real way and becase of this I was thrown into further confusion. I knew that Mary wanted me to let people be aware of it and I knew She wanted me to do so in a gentle way. She certainly didn't want me to shout it from the roof tops nor make any kind of spectacle of myself in public by becoming fanatically obsessed by the Message but She did ask me to let as many people as possible within this country be aware of it. So Joe and I wracked our brains and asked for inspiration and asked for guidance which Mary duly provided and we set about propagating the Message in all sorts of ways. We produced simple posters, we produced literature, we produced books and audio tapes, we continued to produce the monthly Newsletters which gave a breakdown of the Message, becase Mary explained to me that the message could go out to people in a very simple way- of course not explaining to them the horror of the Vision but letting them be aware of the very loving theme.And so we tried to do this but really to very little avail because there was an enormous lack of interest despite that Malta was saturated with Churches devoted to beautiful statues of Our Lady and many processions took place throughout the year on Her Feast days and the whole theme seemed to be very much orientated towards a recognition of Mary and Her role within the Church and her importance. And yet nobody really wanted to hear what She had to say. So I decided that perhaps this was because I was saying it in a rather formal way and if I could approach the whole matter in a more relaxed way this might let people feel that they could come along and be easy and not worry about the nature of the Message. And so we began to offer little evenings and all sorts of little ideas and entertainments to try and let people come and understand this Message in a most gentle way which Mary was asking for. But oh my goodness no- people simply didn't want to hear and of course at this stage I knew that the wrong thing to do was to try and persist.Of course I myself had to persist with the Vision because it was becoming increasingly enormous and important and clear and very very real and it was tying in very greatly with the World situation which was getting itself into more and more of a mess as I could see it  and as Mary was explaining to me, that I also realized that to try and impose the Message on people who didn't want to hear was pretty senseless and pretty useless and Mary agreed. So at this point I decided to carry on with the monthly script and let people who really did want to hear it, hear it and let people who wanted to understand what the Message was offering be comforted by it and let people who were able to understand what it was asking them to do, do it and after that really I just had to make sure that I myself was listening very carefully and doing exactly what Mary was asking of me.

Chapter 6.

So you see being a Visionary can lead you into all sorts of trouble and being a Visionary can assure that really Life was much simpler before you were a Visionary-- or was it ? That was the difficult decision that I had to make, was I happier not being a Visionary or was I happier being a Visionary or did I really have any choice in the matter.Because if I were a Visionary would I be correct in stopping being a Visionary and if I did stop being a Visionary would I be content to be no longer a Visionary and would I provide myself with enough motivation in Life to carry on not being a Visionary believing that I was living my Life in the way that I should be. All these questions had to be answered and much soul searching had to be done and throughout a period of time I asked these questions and did much soul searching. And I concluded that if I was a Visionary, as I understood that I was then I had to continue being a Visionary because this was the task that I had been offered and were I to refuse this task I  was being rather priggish, rather ungrateful, rather pompous in my assumption that I could choose to do with my Life whatever I wished-- worse that this would be the realization that I really did believe in God and He would understand that I was behaving in this atrocious way and He wouldn't be very happy about it. Worse that this was the fact that Jesus and Mary were very real to me and in no way would They go away and They kept telling me quite clearly that I was a Visionary however much I didn't like the idea, however much I felt embarrassed by it and the fact that nobody wanted to know that I was a Visionary and this was the role that I would prefer not to assume, because Life was really much more comforable without it. However They did explain to me that there were compensations of being a Visionary. For example if one was a Visionary one could look at Life in a way that was quite clear because through the Vision that one was being given one could see very clearly everything that was good in Life and everything that was bad in Life. Jesus and Mary explained that this understanding of being a Visionary was not restricted to the simple receiving of the Vision in terms of an interior picture but it actually extended into a further understanding of Life and of course this really was true because I was well aware that as this Vision had developed, alongside it there had also developed my understanding of Life, and people and myself. Now this, although it was very clear as Jesus and Mary said was not always very pleasant because alongside this understanding of Life and people and myself came the very clear understanding that everything was not as it should be.The picture that increasingly presented itself to me was one that was very unpleasant in many ways because I began to see very clearly that the Vision that Jesus and Mary were giving of Life was quite different from the Life that I was seeing around me. Jesus and Mary were explaining to me that Life should be lived in a very simple way, a very beautiful way, a very happy way, a very peaceful way, a very loving way, the way that was making each other happy, a way that was making each other joyful and a way that was uplifting each other so that many of the fears and suspicions and negative things of Life began to disappear. Now the more I tried to see this Vision within day to day living the harder it became because what Jesus and Mary were explaining to be the True Way of Living was certainly not very apparent in my own experience. My own experience was that people were not living Life very simply and people were not very peaceful and happy and loving and people were not really wanting each other to be very peaceful and happy because people were really making each other very unhappy. People were living their Life in a way that was dominated by a very simple desire to give themselves everything that they could for themselves. In other words most of the people that I met in my daily Life were not really understanding that Life should be generous, Life should be simple, and happy and upliftng and this realization was quite shocking.Further more I began to understand that because this was happening everything that Jesus and Mary were explaining to me the beautiful private Vision that They were giving to me, what Life should be was really not able to enter into Life and people were rejecting it and people were prefering a way of Life that was so devoid of Happiness and Peace and Freedom and Love that they were making themselves atrociously unhappy and they were thinking that things that they could possess, things that they could buy, things that they could gather together in a material way was the way in which they could make themselves happy and this realization and this picture became increasingly clear to me and was so dreadfully sad and I really felt that this Vision that Jesus and Mary were giving to me stood such little chance of ever happening unless the World led itself into such a state of shock that people were pulled out of this dreadful trancelike state of existing in selfish fantasy to make themselves look at Life in some kind of real way. I really did believe that this had to happen before people would change. Now Jesus and Mary were also explaining to me that the situation in the World would change and people would change and God would prove that people could live peacefully and happily and freely and in a loving way and They were also asking me to rely on Them to show me exactly what I had to do to play my little part in the whole development so that I would be moving with Them and continuing to listen to everything that They were saying within the Vision. And I would be preparing myself so that I would understand exactly what I had to do at the time They would tell me to do it. And so because by this time I realized that the picture that Jesus and Mary were giving me of Life was a much more sensible picture than the picture that I was seeing of Life I decided I would move along with Them as I had been doing and at the same time I would try to live my Life in a simple and happy and peaceful and loving way as I could. So having made this decision I continued to have my daily dialogue with Mary and my nightly formal Message which explained the development of the Vision in great detail to me and I decided also to begin to resume living my Life in a way that would let me develop in a way thet let me feel happy because I was being more relaxed and using my creative abilities and Joe would be helping me with this and we would be offering people these so that they could enjoy them and within this I could also try to let those who wished to be aware of this beautiful Vision in part, in the part that Jesus and Mary explained I could offer to people I could let these people be aware of it.

Chapter 7

So you see Life as a Visionary can really be very precarious and  very embarrassing and very difficult and very much linked with a way of living which is moving one all the time into a very clear understanding of what Life should be and what Life isn't and I have now decided that certainly this Vision is True as far as I can understand with my reason, with my logical analysis with my way of coming at Truth in a rational way which lets my emotions play upon this in a way that I feel to be correct. As far as I can understand in this way this Vision is really a perfect Vision and as Jesus and Mary are explaining to me that it is, I feel in all simplicity and integrity I have to develop with it. However I also understand that people are not understanding that people who are Visionaries really do have such a clear insight into Life and they are not wishing to be very much involved in this side of Life and as such I have no intention of imposing my thoughts and understanding on other people. On the other hand I do appreciate very clearly that some people are understanding this Vision to be True and some people are wishing to know what to do to come about it in a sincere,true and realistic way and for these people of course I intend to share with them as much of the Vision as I can at present.However I also intend to do it in a way which is absolutely relaxed, easy and in a way that allows me to develop my own Life in a way that I consider to be normal which is by being myself.As this experience has developed I've become so aware that people who are Visionaries are really not allowed to be themselves because they become so involved in a whole panoply which is moving them into some kind of supposingly acceptable way of living that they begin to lose the purity of the Vision in terms of the way it's dealt with, because they're really organized into a whole development which is not really looking so much at the Vision as all the ways in which the Vision can be exploited.The ways in which the Vision can be, as Mary says very dreadfully, leached off, to provide people with a way of Life which they consider to be rather important and as such the Vision itself and the Message itself becomes so distorted and manipulated and twisted into something that is not real and true that its value becomes to be diluted.Now to me this Vision is such a precious Vision that I have no intention of whatever of allowing this to happen and so They are guiding me increasingly into a very simple development which is allowing me to pursue the Vision in my own way because after all I am experiencing the Vision and I know exactly what the Vision is explaining to me and as such I am the person who can explain the Vision or as much of the Vision as I am allowed to at present and also I feel that as this Vision develops the people who are interested in it will be very much drawn towards it in an enlightened way because Jesus and Mary have explained to me that this will happen. They will have no problem whatsoever in conveying this enlightenment to the people They explain will earn it as it were because They explain that the people who are Loving and Good and Kind and wish to know the Truth in a realistic way will simply understand increasingly that God is with the World in the dreadful state it finds itself in now and He wishes to organize a safety net as it were which will let people be lifted into it and so this particular Vision that I experience is explaining how this will come about and its also explaining how the World will be allowed to organize a very simple Protection for those people who wished to be involved in it. And as such I feel very sure and Jesus and Mary are explaining to me that this is absolutely correct, that those people who wish to be involved in it will be as it were magnetized to it inceasingly and they will have no problem whatsoever and although I personally wish that everybody would understand this opportunity and realize how beautiful and valuable it is I've been made so aware of the fact that people really do have the freedom of choice and there is no way in which God wishes to impose upon them and certainly no wish on my behalf to impose anything on them especially after the experiences I've experienced as a Visionary. So I now understand that Life is not as it should be I understand as far as I am able to what Life should be like and I'm trying as far as I am able to to live my Life in the way that  think it should be lived and I intend to pursue this goal in as simple, and Loving and relaxed way as possible. A way that I need to develop daily and ask continuously for guidance and thank goodness being a Visionary does help here considerably because I can ask and I do ask and I'm given such tremendous help that it begins to make being a Visionary feel worthwhile.

Go to a new page for the final chapters 8/9/10

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