Adventures of a Visionary- Audio Book-Part 1

Maureen reads from Her audio Book about some of the problems, snares and pitfalls of being a Visionary. She describes it with animation and colour. The transcript wil follow over the next few days but the Audio is  available now on Her Youtube Channel- just click on below to go direct.

         Click Here for Maureens Youtube Channel

Transcript starting soon

Chapter (1)

It really is a very simple thing to be a Visionary or so you would think because it means that you can be closely connected to a vision of Life which is showing you that everything is very real and true and good and beautiful. Now I must say that I never wanted to be a Visionary, I never intended being a Visionary, in fact being a Visonary was the furthest from my thoughts. I wanted to live Life in a very normal way, a very simple way,a very happy way and I wanted people to relate to me in this way, because the last thing on earth that I wanted was to be considered somebody strange or unusual. Being a rather shy person by nature, I've always tended to avoid crowds, to avoid groups, to relate to people on an individual basis because this is the way I like to live my Life, interacting with people in a warm and friendly way which is a natural part of my day to day living.A way in which lets me feel uplifted and hopefully lets them feel uplifted because of the simple warmth of the giving and taking and sharing and caring, this part of the interaction.When this whole happening happened I really was amazed, because I must say that nothing in my Life had really prepared me to be a Visionary, In fact truly I can't say I understood exactly what a Visionary was, nor was I very much  interested because I honestly felt it not to be an area of Life which involved me too much - this was for those rare beings who were able to enter the spiritual dimension which was rather austere, rather over refined and as I said I really did prefer to live Life in a very ordinary, normal, simple happy rather humorous way. So when this happening happened I certainly wasn't prepared for it, nor was I prepared for my reaction, which was not so much amazement as a very clear understanding of the fact that this was something that was happening to me that I didn't particularly want to happen and yet I couldn't ignore the fact that it was happening, nor could I really understand it,nor could I pretend that it wasn't belonging to my Life because it really was belonging to my Life in a very sharp way. a very clear way - a way which was beginning to throw me into some confusion. In fact I really didn't know what to do. I kept it all very quiet for a while because I felt that this was something that I had to sort out for myself and I tried to do so, and the more I tried to do so, the more it became very clear that I was becoming involved in a situation that was quite outside my normal everyday way of living- and yet it was a situation that I had to accept as real and true because it was happening and it was happening in a very real and true way and a very concrete way, and everything about it was showing me that it was real and everything about it was showing me that it was attached to Reality in a way that was quite normal as well as supernormal, and quite truthfully I had never felt that I could integrate these two facets of life but here they were being integrated and I was having to cope with it.

Chapter 2

So I decided that I would have to cope with it in the best way that I could and I began to pursue the whole development in as logical way as possible. Because the Vision was happening to me in a way that was verbal as well as bound to an interior perception I decided that I had to begin to write things down and once they were objectified in this way I would begin to understand more clearly what was being said and how real and true it was and the prblem was that as I began to write things down things were very clear and very true and very enlightening too because they began to show me that what I was doing was something that was so real that it was taking me outside my perception. In other words I could write things down that in my conscious mind I didn't fully understand and yet when I read through what I had written it seemed absolute Truth- way beyond my intellectual capabilities. So this was quite perplexing and I decided that it was really making the whole phenomena more real and more true to me. So what was I to do ? First of all I decided that I should explain the nature of the experience to my husband and I did this quite simply and he being a Yorkshire man, I knew he would tell me quite bluntly what he thought and if it were nonsense and if it was something I really ought to let go of pretty quickly. But you see he reacted to the experience in a very straight forward way that made me feel that it was certainly real and that he believed it to be real and at this point what were we to do ?

We decided that the best thing to do was to accept that the experience was real, try to also accept the fact that what was being explained through the Vision was something very beautiful and very good and very uplifting, very comforting and very humorous. And we pursued it or should I say I pursued it and Joe went along with it to see if there was anything that we could discover from it which was other than Good, True, or Real. But the thing was that there was really nothing because it became more and more and more Real and more and more True and more and more based on what we considered to be Truth and Reality and an understanding of Life that was linked to these. And so I continued with the Vision and I must say I knew very clearly that I was undergoing an experience which was so Real and so True that it would be a dreadful imposition for me to try to ignore it or pretend that it wasn't happening or to brush it under the carpet or to think that it would go away because I knew that this really wouldn't be True - it wouldn't be True of me to do so.

I wasn't frightened in any way because the Vision was so much linked with persons from my chilhood wo had become part of my Life. Being a Catholic Jesus and Mary were an integral part of my basic faith. Although I must admit that during school years when in my Convent school when we've been studying the new Testament I was left very cold by the way in which it was treated, and the only time that Jesus and Mary really became alive for me was at Christmas -time when I felt the warmth of Their personality coming through. The Church for me was in many ways very stodgy, very male orientated and as such the ritual of it left me somewhat cold. The desire of people to be involved in it which was very much linked to status and the social scene also left me cold and throughout my Life I tended to move into and with the ambience of religion in a much more individualistic way which used to make me feel close to God in my own personal way. Very much an understanding of God linked to a sense of being good and loving and kind and wanting people to move this way, I wanted to be with people in this way and feeling that God would want Life to be this way. I would want Life to be beautiful and try to seek out the things in Life that were beautiful. This was the connotation that Religion had for me and the understanding of God .Jesus and Mary had been part of my Life in as much as I talked to Them now and again never expecting an answer really but feeling in a way that They were close to me and this relationship had developed through my childhood and through my teenage years and into my adulthood so that They already had a feeling and that somehow  I knewThey were real.

So when the Vision began and they entered into it very forcefully I certainly wasn't frightened but I certainly didn't expect it and I can't say I perticularly wanted it at that point, because I knew that it would be considered very strange and as I said I really did want to be accepted as a normal person, an ordinary person, a person who wasn't given to a pretentious way of living or a person who imagined that she was living on a spiritual plain which really was way above her station. Oh no I didn't want that at all - and yet here I was faced with this situation were Jesus and Mary were coming through loud and clear and if I were to ignore Them I would certainly be insulting Them and I certainly would be doing something which I  didn't feel very happy about. So I continued to listen, I continued to write, I continued to be with Them and the Vision continued to develop in quite an amazing way really. And it was all the time giving me a very clear understanding of how real Jesus and Mary are because Their personality was coming through to me loud and clear and their personality was conveying itself to me through each of Them in a way which was very alive and vital and full of charisma and humour and Love and a real warmth which really was quite normal and this I certainly  could accept. The humour I could accept because I do feel that humour for me is a part of Life which I couldn't be without or else I really couldn't cope with life- because there is so much nastiness one finds in Life, there is so much ugliness and distortion and people with unkindness and people's insensitivity that if one doesn't posses a sense of humour, to try to bring a sort of lightness into the situation then this is almost unbearable. So that the fact that Jesus and Mary had a sense of humour was a great relief to me and I could relate to it very very strongly and it made Them very much more real.

Chapter 3

So Life as a Visionary began and Life as a Visionary continued in a way that wasn't very neat or ordered as I would have wished it to be. Because my Life was really thrown into chaos which I didn't feel to be at all ordered or precise or simple. In fact I was thrown into a very confused way of living in terms of the whole material aspects of Life which I had been used to and this aspect was very difficult for me and for my husband because we were led into a way of living which was very precarious in terms of materialism and it threw us into a very disordered financial situation which seemed to be quite beyond our control. Now having been used to a way of living materially which was fairly ordered and systematic this development was new to us and not at all pleasant.As far as the Vision was concerned this was developing all the time in a way which was letting us understand that we had to follow it in a way it was pointing out, because the way it was pointing out was the True way, the Real way,- the way that Jesus and Mary kept explaining to be the Way of Life which made sense.We were as it were pulled out of our way of living which was secure and comfortable and predictable into a way of living which was very unpredictable and uncomfortable and not at all as we liked. As the Vision developed, Life became very difficult in many ways because people who we knew, family, friends, acquaintances were not able to relate to this experience  in the way that we needed. We tried to as it were push the Vision into a compartment which allowed it not to intrude upon our personal day to day living and our relationship with other people. And increasingly this became very difficult because the Vision and the experience was taking over our Life. Now when I say this I don't in any way mean that we were being forced into it but we were pursuing it because we felt it to be Real and True and increasingly important and all the time it was moving us into a way of Life and an understanding of life that was quite different from the way of life and the understanding of life that we had been involved with. Now of course people who were close to us were beginning to notice this.As I said we found this very difficult and the difficulties just wouldn't go away. The difficulties persisted and the Vision persisted and I felt in all integrity now that I had to develop the Vision because what the Vision was explaining was becoming increasingly important. Have you ever felt that Life is becoming so uncomfortable that you wished you were able to extricate yourself from it in a very simple way because quite often I really did feel that the only way that I could persist with the Vision was to live on a desert island and communicate with Jesus and Mary this way. We wouldn't have to try and live with people who expected me not to talk about it because really people didn't wish to hear about this Vision- and I could understand this and yet the Vision was becoming so much part of my Life and my way of Life that it became very difficult to let it not enter into the conversation and Joe and I found ourselves manipulating conversations and contorting conversations and evading issues in order to avoid talking about this Vision that really nobody wanted to hear about. Life went on like this for several years and at one point I really felt that things had become so uncomfortable and so difficult that I would try to let myself say that the Vision was really not true and it was not real. It was becoming such a difficulty for me that Life would be much simpler and more pleasant if I could get rid of it. Joe was most unhappy about this, I was unhappy about it too but felt I really had to give it a rest for a while and so I stopped writing very abruptly. I decided that the time had come for me to not pursue any written statement of the Vision or the daily dialogue with Jesus and Mary and I asked Them if this was acceptable. They said that it was acceptable but They asked if they could continue to talk to me - what could I say ! If I had refused I know that I would have been plagued with such dreadful nightmarish feelings and thoughts and delusions and I am sure I would have lost my mental stability that I felt I was controlling quite well considering the ridiculous situation that I felt myself to be in. Not really because of the Vision which was very simple and beautiful and clear and Real and True and although it was making our material Life uncomfortable because it was pointing out Truths and Realities and letting us be affected by physical conditions that were unpleasant- not because the Vision itself was wrong or inaccurate or false but because of people's reaction to it. Because I knew that we were existing in a world were Visions are just ot acceptable.

People who have Visions are really not acceptable in the normal day to day run of events, the normal day to day social scene- people who are Visionaries are just not acceptable at all without discomfort and embarrassment and a certain feeling that they're spoiling the conversation and they're causing an intrusion that really isn't acceptable. With this in mind I decided to if not put a stop to the Vision at least curtail it and keep it within the manageable proportions so that we could try to live a Life that felt to be normal again and relate to people in the normal way - not because we were any different whatsoever but because  this topic of the Vision would not need to enter the scene.

Chapter 4 will follow soon but will start on a new page.

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